I am sure many of us have been doing some serious soul searching since the American election happened. I knew it would happen this way. I knew Trump would win. The split between reality and the media has been apparent to me for the last 22 years. That’s when I stopped watching television.
After about 5 years, I stopped being able to talk about the relevant things that people talk about. I could barely communicate with anyone beyond a friendly hello or a wave. At best I could listen to them tell me about the shows they watched the night before and the commercials that have been driving them crazy.
All I did is listen. It felt uncomfortable for a while. Everyone was talking about the stuff they had seen, and what they were going to see next. People started calling me the quiet one. Anyone that knew me in high school would have snorted in mild derision at that. But I couldn’t go back to watching TV. I knew it was breaking my spirit and I had to get out of it. So I had to find another reason to interact with people… the sharing of TV just wasn’t happening for me.
At first I only really listened and took in information. Then I started to realize that everything someone told me about themselves was insight into who I was. I also noticed that TV did the same thing, but it was a one way street. I learned things about myself, but it was usually the same thing over and over. I’d gravitate to shows I’d like to watch. But with people? Each one is like a unique TV show all unto themselves. I find myself eager to hear what the star of the show wants to tell me.
I have this insatiable desire to know why I do what I do. I am incapable of sitting and watching someone else live their lives. I want to live my life. I cannot bury the talents I have in my possession, what kind of person does that make me?
And it has no bearing on the things I choose to believe in, except, who I am when I believe them.
Do I really want to hurt people?
What happens when the answer is yes?
Do I execute a lash out, keep my feelings to myself, fantasize about it daily, look at those feelings and try to understand what feeling like that is doing to me?
I choose the latter.
I didn’t always. Usually I would bottle everything up and hide it. Pretend like I was like everyone else. The irony of that statement is… I am.
Everyone has fantasized about doing something horrible, probably a few times in our lives.
But not everyone acts on it.
The ones that do, puzzle me. I will accept extensive abuse from people, just so I can figure out what makes them tick. I am always respectful and kind no matter how I am treated. I always will be…
…until you lay a hand on me or anyone else for that matter. The moment you initiate an extreme behaviour, without provocation, of a physical nature, that negatively interferes with someone’s life for no logical reason, you have become my enemy.
I have a tolerant belief system and it goes something like this:
- Believe what you want, just don’t force anyone else to in any way. Leave the information for them, that’s the best you can do.
- Hate if you must, but shut your cake-hole while you do it. Haters are my greatest mystery. They come in all shapes and sizes, including misguided heroes. Negative emotional responses to logical issues are prohibitive to constructive conversation.
- Do not interfere with the lives of others simply because you do not like how they live. a) Do not fool yourselves into thinking a higher power has told you to do this. That higher power gave you free will and we all know harming others is prohibitive to positive growth. b) Do not fool yourself into thinking that because you believe there is nothing beyond this life that you can simply act out like an angry child. You chose not to believe, you have the same free will as those that do believe. Leave people alone.
These three rules can quietly tuck into any belief system you have. If you think you know the truth? That’s great. Leave your info and I’ll happily look over it. But if you start acting out on me because you don’t like what I believe? We are going to have a problem.
I will only ever react. But mark my words, I will react.
I am sure there are many people that see the logic of a tolerant system. We are the ones that need to be uniting in this moment. It should not be one way or the other… it can be both. If you don’t see that, you are an intolerant person. Even if you think it’s pointless or even if you think you are saving someone, the minute you harm someone else mentally or physically to make that happen? You are my enemy. People, are people… period.
I am the new radical.