An Open Letter About Gender Equality

Ladies, I need to talk to you.

It’s true that we have been downtrodden and shredded for a  very, very long time. However, I can’t help but believe we are sometimes our own worst enemy.

We need to make a change in the way we think. For some reason, we keep flogging men to treat us a certain way. As if we are owed anything other than what happens in life.

There is an earning system that takes place when change needs to happen. Stances and ideals need to be epic and constant. We cannot feel like men must GIVE us equality. We must walk with the understanding that we are equal. That we are valid. That we are worth it. Regardless of what anyone else thinks.

We establish equality ladies, by how we treat each other and by how we treat men.

We need to stop caring about ANYONE that disrespects us for any reason, gender, culture or race.

Why do we have it in our heads that an entire gender must respect us before we can respect ourselves? Come on ladies, we are better than this. We can do better than this.

Each time we raise our fist in anger and cry “treat me better!” we are giving away control. Even if we are right. Even if we deserve better treatment. Begging for it, will never get it for us.

We’ve tried begging men for years and that’s what we’re still doing.

So here’s an alternative, the next time a man cat calls us on the street, just don’t give a crap. That guy is a moron. The next time we are at work and the smarmy dude makes a crack about our ass (hell yes pun intended) DON’T CARE.

We think we need to care. We think that if men do not treat us well our lives are worse somehow.

Negative. That is incorrect logic.  Logic that has been imprinted in us or worse, we made it up in our head. The real logic is this: each time a man (or anyone) says no and you know it should be yes, don’t listen. Don’t let anything other than you dictate how your life unfolds.

Yes, I know, sometimes there are obstacles. Sometimes we neeeeed a man to change so that we can get what we want. Right?


Come on, we know that is not true. We know equality is there, we just have to be strong enough to go against the grain. We just have to stand with our chin up and NOT CARE about the haters.

Haters gonna hate has become a cliche for a reason, ladies. Let’s take back our identities and stop asking men for better treatment.  Let’s leave the men that treat us poorly, we truly do not need them.

Ladies, we have a harder time due to some very severe programming we have had over the last several thousand years. We have been slaves, second class citizens and objects of sexual possession. And we feel the weight of that. But it’s not who we are, it’s what others said we were.

We have a new perspective now. And we have each other if we can open ourselves up to that. Do you realize how often women tend to be jealous of each other? Can you guess why? Can you guess that it has everything to do with how we want men to see us? Feel about us? Don’t you think that says a lot about how we feel about ourselves? Why do we need male validation so badly?

Probably because we are trapped between wanting to be desired and sexy, to wanting to be treated as a person.

But, we can have both.  There are a lot of good men out there that don’t judge us by our sex.

In this time ladies, we must be willing to remain single until we find the right partner that treats us with the respect we know we deserve. We must be willing to establish what we say no to and follow through.

We owe it to our children and our children’s children to create a system where all people are equally accepted as different and are considered wonderful because of that difference.

Stop looking for validation from anyone that does not deserve to be in the same room with you. Time to learn when to care and when not to.


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